Lost and Found
…and Lost Again
Hi! It’s me, Alea 👋🏼
It’s been a while since I last posted on Substack (10 months to be exact). I don’t know if you still remember me or my newsletter… I also don’t know if I’ll continue writing here but I thought it would be best to honestly communicate with you.
Why I took a break from Substack
When I first joined Substack, I loved the culture and community—it felt different from other social media platforms and every interaction felt so genuine.
I thought I had finally found “my home” on the internet…
But over time, my feed began to be filled with growth hacks and guru advice on “how to go viral” and “how to succeed on Substack.” As a small creator, I kept second-guessing myself on whether I was doing things right, so I looked for a mentor.
Just in time, I was invited to join a program that offered not only courses but also coaching and a community.
I thought I was so lucky that a mentor reached out to me first to offer help and was so generous to even give me a huge discount!
…until I realized it was just a sales tactic.
What I thought was a “generous” discount is apparently just a bait—once I take it, they would sell to me again and again with the goal of “converting” me into a “loyal customer.”
My mom taught me to value learning over money, so I invested a high amount upfront for “lifetime access”—only to find out later on that customers like me who pay for lifetime access don’t even usually last for a year. They know about this reality but still include it in their offer as a marketing tactic to make people believe that they’re saving a huge amount of money…
To be fair, I don’t think those gurus had bad intentions. I think they genuinely want to help small writers like me, but these marketing and sales strategies have become so normalized that people forget to question if they’re even ethical. Just because “it’s working” (i.e. it makes money) doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s right—the end doesn’t justify the means.
I felt disillusioned after this experience and needed to distance myself from Substack for a while…
Rediscovering content creation as a K-pop fangirl
After taking a break from Substack, I discovered AHOF, a nine-member multinational K-pop boy group formed through the SBS survival show Universe League.
I wanted to practice content creation without thinking about how to make money. I provided English translations and dedicated my time in making appreciation threads and video edits of my two biases, Steven (their Korean-Australian member and AHOF’s leader) and JL (their Filipino member).
I did all of these completely for free and I was surprised by the amount of love and appreciation that I received from my fellow fans 🥺💘
I would receive messages and comments from people saying that they appreciate Steven and JL’s friendship and bond even more thanks to my edits, and that after a long, tiring day, they would go to my account and find rest and healing. I may not be earning money from this but I felt so much joy and fulfillment 🥹
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How I wish I could do this for a living… but in fan communities, we don’t usually pay for fan subs and fanmade edits so monetization is yet again a challenge…
Feeling lost again in my content creation journey
It’s already been more than a year since I finished college and I’m feeling insecure again about the fact that I’m still unemployed and not earning money from content creation.
I’ve tried job hunting but none of the jobs I’ve found interest me. I think that instead of chasing a job, I want to attract job/business opportunities instead by building my personal brand.
But I feel so lost and I have no idea what to do… I’ve learned that even though I’m building an online presence, the goal is to still to build real, offline relationships. That’s why I wonder if Substack is even the right platform for me given that it’s not yet that mainstream among Filipinos and the monetization option is only limited to a subscription model… (As of this writing, Stripe is still not available in the Philippines so I can’t go paid.)
I’m thinking if I should start creating content on YouTube instead… but I’ll have to deal with my camera shyness 🫠
It feels like I’m starting from scratch all over again… 😮💨
My mind is full of questions and I have no definite answers yet… but maybe there’s value in sharing this. Perhaps someone can relate to my struggles or has useful advice to give…
If you’ve read all the way here, thank you so much for your time and attention 🥹💖 Whether you choose to unsubscribe or stay, I’m so grateful that you’ve been part of my journey. May God bless us and direct our paths 🙏🏼
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight”
— Proverbs 3:5-6
Support my mission of inspiring more creators to pursue their life’s work and make a positive difference in the world ✨
Hello Lovely! Nice to have you in my inbox again 😊
I can understand the difficulty you're facing and am impressed by your capacity to reflect upon your options and decisions so thoroughly and critically... Substack has definitely evolved and not necessarily for the better. I, too, have been overwhelmed by the sheer mass of growth-hack content and was also (rather aggressively) approached by a "guru" a few months ago. This experience really threw me off balance and I also refrained from posting my writing here for a while thereafter. Then, in October, I decided to write about the uncertainties that person invoked within me and the resonance my post generated reminded me of the sense of community I was met with here when I first started! Since then, I began posting and engaging again, but with no pressure. This is just my space to experiment and be creative.
I truly believe that you are on the right path when you say you want to attract instead of chase. Continue to do and create what brings you joy without fixating on the outcome and the way to monetise will be revealed to you, I'm certain. You are talented and such a beautiful soul. I will always be routing for you 💕