Why Do I Create Content? (It’s Not About Money or Attention)

Photo by Colton Sturgeon on Unsplash

As a new creator, there are times that I can’t help but worry about whether I’ll be successful in this career.

I worry that my writing is not good enough, people won’t see value in my content, I won’t be able to make money from this, and I’ll just become a huge disappointment and a burden to my family.

I get anxious when I look at the ‘numbers’ because it seems like a confirmation of my biggest fears. I get impatient and forget that I’ve only started recently (just last November 20 to be exact).

It hasn’t even been a month!
Why am I in such a hurry?

Content creation is something that I want to do for the rest of my life.
There’s no need to rush.

Being preoccupied with how many likes, comments, followers, and subscribers I have only leaves me paralyzed with self-doubt and inaction. I’ve decided to stop worrying about these things, at least for the first few months of my journey.

I know these are important if I want to make a living as a creator, but I shouldn’t lose sight of what matters and why I’m doing this in the first place.

I want to accomplish something I’m actually proud of

I want to be a content creator so that I can have a portfolio.

(Yes, a portfolio…)

I had this thought because I have two sisters who are both artists—they’re good at drawing, graphic design, and crafts.

How can you tell if they’re good?
Just look at their portfolio.

They have digital artworks and physical sketchbooks, and they also make these cool crochet products and acrylic keychains, all of which are tangible proof of their skills.

Me? I don’t really have a lot of other talents aside from studying.
People describe me as “smart” but what does that even mean?
How do you know that?

Sure, I have a lot of medals and I graduated with Latin honors… but that doesn’t necessarily prove that I’m smart—it just means I received high grades in school.

You can do all kinds of stuff to get high grades aside from studying:

• Simply memorizing and forgetting everything after the exam

• Doing whatever your teachers ask to earn incentives and bonus points

• Looking at your notes when it’s not allowed, and other forms of cheating

As someone who loves learning, I don’t like any of these things, but I can’t judge people who do them because I also succumbed to these temptations a few times—as much as I am ashamed to admit it… I know how hard it is to uphold academic honesty and integrity when you’re in that kind of system and environment.

That’s why I never felt proud of myself for receiving medals and certificates—I found them so fake, empty, and meaningless.

What’s the point of having other people’s admiration when I’m not even proud of myself?

I stopped believing in titles and degrees.

I don’t want people to know me just as that “student achiever” or “magna cum laude graduate”—these are all based on grades that don’t even accurately measure your learning.

I want to have a public portfolio where people can actually get to know me for my work, not just my academic records.

And what I want isn’t applause, but for my knowledge and ideas to have a real and meaningful impact on the world.

I don’t want to waste my time on meaningless work

“Putting things off is the biggest waste of life: it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today. You are arranging what lies in Fortune’s control, and abandoning what lies in yours. What are you looking at? To what goal are you straining? The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.”
— Seneca, On the Shortness of Life

I don’t want to waste my life doing something that I find meaningless…
That's how I felt when I was in school.

Don't get me wrong—I met a lot of amazing people there and I had memorable experiences too, but I just didn't like the system of how school works.

The expensive tuition fees, tight deadlines, exhausting workload, hustle culture, normalization of stress and burnout, competitive environment, flawed grading system, having a handful of professors who didn’t even have any passion for teaching… I found it all so tiring.

Why was I even enduring all these things?
Was it just to get a piece of paper that says I finished this degree?

I had to find something meaningful in all this to keep me sane.
I looked for the life lessons I could learn from my unpleasant experiences.

I also stopped relying on my teachers and the academic curriculum and pursued self-education. I tried to keep my sense of curiosity alive and not let my experience in school make me lose my passion for learning.

If school was a training ground for the corporate world, then I don’t want any of that. I’ve suffered more than enough for nearly two decades.

I want a career that makes me feel alive and gives me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. I don’t want to live a life where I dread waking up every morning, slave away at a job I hate just for the paycheck, and spend the rest of my days distracting myself from this meaningless routine.

I can’t afford to waste my time like that, not even for a couple of years.

There’s no guarantee that I’ll live to be 100.
I could die at 50.
I could die tomorrow.
I could die today.

If I don’t live long enough to achieve my biggest dreams,
at least I would like to die trying.

I want to fulfill my mission in life

“The meaning of life is to find your gift.
The purpose of life is to give it away.”
— Pablo Picasso

I’ve loved learning all my life, but I came to the important realization that I can’t take any of this knowledge with me when I die.

All the hours I spend studying, researching, taking notes…
everything will go to waste.

These things I’m keeping in my journal and note-taking apps could help others and possibly even change their lives! What am I doing hoarding all of this?

Looking back, my proudest moments as a student weren’t those times when I went up on stage to receive medals—they were those times when my classmates told me that I helped them understand our lessons and pass our difficult subjects. Their words meant so much more to me than those numbers on my report card.

That’s how I figured out that I want to teach for a living and share my knowledge with others.

I couldn’t see myself teaching inside the classroom, but I could see myself creating educational and inspiring content online. There’s no need to limit myself to a set curriculum—I can build my own library of content, sharing the most important lessons I’m learning in life.

It has become clear to me now that my mission is to share all my knowledge and wisdom before I die.

I know that I still have a lot to improve in myself.
But I’m not waiting until I’m “ready” or “good enough.”
I’m not waiting until I’m 30 years old to start.
I’m starting now.
I’m starting scared, imperfect, and without having it all figured out.

I’m sharing what I can with what I have.

I’m putting myself out there because I care more about doing my life’s work than protecting my ego.

So what if I make mistakes, look stupid, and get judged by other people?
How I see myself is more important than how others see me.

People can praise me or insult me,
but all that matters at the end of the day is my conscience.

Am I doing what I think is right?
Am I being true to myself and my values?
Am I living a life that I am proud of?

I’m not here to please others.
I’m here to become the best version of myself
so that I can love and serve others with all my heart.

I’m here to fulfill my mission in life.

I’m writing this so that when I lose my way on this journey,
I can look back and remember why I’m doing this.

It’s not about money or attention.
It’s about purpose and meaning.

Don’t lose sight of that.

How about you? Why do you create content?
How do you find your way back when you lose direction?

I know this path is not easy, but I hope we can find a reason to keep going and stay true to our original intentions 🤍

— Alea