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Pameladn's avatar

I feel the same way. My family has never put pressure on me, I would on myself because of the expectations I had put on myself. Isn't it crazy?

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Alea Montañez's avatar

I totally get the struggle 😭 Even now, I still fall into this trap and put pressure on myself.. I think I may have internalized it as a result of years of societal conditioning 🥲 That's why I always have to check in with myself and notice these tendencies so I don't let them take control of me and the major decisions I make in my life :')

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Pameladn's avatar

I think so too. It's about society's thoughts becoming our own. I would like to talk about in a post soon :)

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Alea Montañez's avatar

I’m looking forward to reading it! :D Please let me know once you’ve posted it 💗

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Pameladn's avatar

Really, you would like to know when I do? That's very kind, thank you. I didn't know they would be interested in knowing my opinion about certain matters :)

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Alea Montañez's avatar

Of course, I'd love to read it :D What I love about Substack is how we read each other posts and connect in the comments 💖 I just write whatever I feel is worth sharing without worrying too much about whether people will like it. I'm surprised and grateful that people do engage in my posts 🙏🏻💗 I find that the less I worry about the metrics, the more I actually attract them :D Not only do I have fun in the process, but I also default to a mindset of gratitude rather than entitlement 😊🙏🏻

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Sid's avatar

I admire how you questioned the root of your motivation. It's easy to confuse love with obligation sometimes, especially in cultures with strong familial ties like yours.

And sometimes, people think that following a unique path means abandoning gratitude—but in reality, it just redefines how you express it.

Loved reading it! :)

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Alea Montañez's avatar

Thank you! 🙏🏻✨ Yeah, it can really be challenging when you're from a collectivist culture. It takes a lot of self-examination to identify whether your actions are out of love and free will or shame and obligation 🥺 You have to know how to balance your needs with that of others so you don't end up neglecting yourself and just people-pleasing

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Daniela Caine's avatar

As a recovering people pleaser consumed by the desire to be liked, I am heartened and applaud you for going on your Soul Journey at this early age. Keep going and follow that inner voice - it will not lead you astray!

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Alea Montañez's avatar

Thank you so much, Daniela 🥺💖

It's really hard to stop people-pleasing especially in a collectivist culture, but I've learned that the best way to love others is to love myself because I cannot give what I do not have. 🤍

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Sean Mize's avatar

It's great that your mom supports you in this!

And maybe they will need your help more in the future - and the income stream will be helpful then!

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Alea Montañez's avatar

Thank you! 😊 I do see this as a long-term investment that can open up the possibility of multiple income streams in the future. I'm sacrificing short-term gains for long-term value 👍🏻

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Sean Mize's avatar

Perhaps the short term loss will be minimal anyhow :-)

and life slows down a little too

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Alea Montañez's avatar

I agree 😊 I've never really liked hustle culture too—I want to embrace slow living and slow productivity 🌿 I don't need to force myself into a fast-paced work environment that doesn't align with my purpose and values

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Beyond The Franchise Brand's avatar

People will judge no matter what your situation is. Take care of yourself and be grateful for this opportunity. It’s part of a long journey of self discovery. Enjoy the process, learn and grow!

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Alea Montañez's avatar

Thank you! 🙏🏻🤍 You're right—people will judge no matter what we do, so we might as well do what we truly love instead of trying to please others :) At the end of the day, how we see ourselves is more important than how others see us

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Beyond The Franchise Brand's avatar

That’s it! Go for it Alea.

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Mark's avatar

It seems like your mum knows the score. But could you reframe it to yourself? Instead of looking at it as not making any money for a while, look at it as continuing your education, you're still learning, if you were at university or otherwise studying that would be your main focus. You're persuing your dream, your passion. You're learning.

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Alea Montañez's avatar

Thank you! I'm reframing it as a continuation of my education too, but with a lot less cost since I'm not spending money on post-graduate school 😆 My mom also pointed out that even if I went the traditional route, it wouldn't be that quick to get a job—it might take months of searching, applying, going on interviews, waiting for results, etc.

By choosing to create content now, I'm investing my time wisely on a career that I'm actually passionate about and has a ton of value in the long run :) It's all about patience and delayed gratification

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Mark's avatar

Exactly! Not all education needs to come with student debt and massive course fees!

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Alea Montañez's avatar

No kidding! I learned a lot more from online resources than in school 🥲 I honestly don't think it's worth it to spend so much time and money on college... I hope that in the future, kids won't feel pressured to attend college anymore just to get a degree. It's much more worth it to learn the skills that would enable them to actually thrive in today's age and achieve financial freedom without relying on a corporate job. School is way too outdated and they don't teach you these things...

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Mark's avatar

I've got some real issues with the English school system right now, kids forced to learn like robots when they're all different. I did 4 years at uni because I thought I wanted to have a certain career, it turns out I didn't. I wouldn't say its wasted time and money but you can 100% learn anything you want online, mostly from YouTube!

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Mayank's avatar

These tough will always bother you at different phases of life, you'll be doubtful, but you got to make a choice & then prove you were right.

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Stephanie Clemons's avatar

My quick, intuitive response to your question based on my own experiences and detours in life: No, do not sacrifice your dreams ❤️

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Alea Montañez's avatar

Thank you Stephanie! I'm glad I didn't 💖 My dream and my family are both important to me—I realized that I don't have to give up one for the other ☺️🤍

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Sky's avatar

Your Fulfillment is what will also provide fulfillment to your parents and siblings.

Their joy will generate as they see you thriving in life.

You've brought out a depth of thought and life which many in this age never think much about.

Your path is your own,

And you have a responsibility to your self, to follow it.

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Alea Montañez's avatar

Thank you so much! 🙏🏻🤍 I think that the best way to love and serve others is to become the best version of ourselves 💖

When we respect and value ourselves, we are able to do the same for others :)

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Mojca Sergo's avatar

I love how you seek the answer. What is deep inside, I believe, is that nobody belongs to anyone. Everything in life is about the flow.

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Alea Montañez's avatar

Thank you! 🙏🏻🤍

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